Signature Graduation Speech 2019

Good morning!  My name is Tammy Stoy. I am a mom of one of the
graduates. I also taught many of these students in various classes
ranging from 8th grade English, to high school Spanish to British
Literature.  I am so humbled that they asked me to share a few words
here at graduation. What an honor!

Over the past few months, I have prayed about what to share.  I think
that most people who engage in public speaking want to be witty,
humorous, inspirational and memorable.  And I have been tempted
to try give an amazing speech that would wow you all. At one point,
I even thought about stringing together quotes from all the British
Literature books we read! Remember reading Hamlet, Romeo and
Juliet, Canterbury Tales and 1984?  That speech would have been
amazing - or maybe it would have just been boring! At any rate,
everyone can breathe a sigh of relief that I have decided not to do
that the speech!

The truth of the matter is, I don’t have anything to tell you that you
probably haven’t heard before. So, I have decided to give you a
speech based on the best book I can think of - predictably, it's The
Bible. Hopefully, the Lord will use my words to encourage you.

This speech will be about the subject of good works.

Being good little home-schooled students, I know that you all have
heard Ephesians 2:8-10:  “For it is by grace, you have been saved
through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is a gift of God, not of
works so that no one can boast. For you are God’s workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus to do GOOD WORKS”.  

As I look at the world, I see 2 incorrect responses to good works.  
The first response is to assume that our good works earn us a place
in heaven.  The belief is that by being good, we can get enough
points to be with God when we die. But Ephesians clearly says that all
of our good works do not save us.  It says “not by works so that no one
can boast”. This verse is a comfort to us, because who of us could ever
be good enough to save ourselves? If we just look at the world around
us, it is obvious that mankind needs an intervention.  And if we are
honest with ourselves, we can admit that each of us as individuals
need an intervention. We need help. This verse reminds us that there
is ONE who is Perfect and GOOD who needed nothing from us, but
He intervened to save us. HIS name is Jesus and he lived a perfect
life, died for our sins, and rose from the dead victorious!  His works
save us. Ephesians reminds us that we are saved by His grace
through Faith in Him. I pray that you have trusted the finished work
of Christ to save your souls.

So, one false response to good works is to assume that they save you.  
Another false response to the topic of good works is to assume that
since your good works don’t save you, then they don’t matter. I think
that one of the most selfish things anyone could do is to live with an
attitude that says: “If the Bible teaches that my good works don’t save
me, then I why should I help others”.  That is ridiculous! It’s like saying,
“Since I am not getting anything out of this - it doesn’t matter what I do!”

I believe that the the clear teaching of Scripture is that how you live
matters.  Let’s look back at Ephesians chapter 2. Verse 10 says. “
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good
works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  

So, we see that we are not saved by good works, but we are saved
so that we can do good works. This means that there are good things
that God wants you to do. You aren’t doing these things out of guilt.  
You aren’t to do them out of selfishness. You aren’t doing these things
to prove that you deserve salvation. You are doing these things
because you already have salvation. You are doing them because God
created you to do good and he has prepared good for you to do- that’s
what Ephesians says! In fact, he prepared these good works for you
to do before you were even born! “You were created in Christ Jesus to
do good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk
in them.”

I believe that some of the good things we are called to do are general
good works: Being kind. Helping those around you. Following the 10
commandments, etc. These are general good things that everyone
should do.  But I also believe that there are good works that He has
called each of you specifically to do. Remember that this verse says
that He prepared things in advance for you to do.  He has a plan for
you.

I believe that these things that he has prepared for us to do are meant
to be a blessing but some of us can turn this idea “God’s plan for your
life” into this overly mystical thing and we stress out about it.  “God,
what should I do with my life????? What’s your plan????” To illustrate
this, let me tell you about a friend of mine. She graduated from college
and decided that she wouldn’t do anything until God clearly told her
what to do next. So, she literally sat. No job applications.  Just. Waiting.
And waiting and waiting. This sounds super spiritual, but a few weeks
after graduation, she was starting to freak out. No voice from heaven
was coming to tell her “the plan for her life”. After weeks of doing
nothing, she still didn’t know what to do with her life, then someone
asked her: "What are you good at? What are your gifts? What do you
like? What do you have a heart for? IF none of the things you want to
do are sinful, that’s what you should pursue.  He will open the right
doors if you are seeking HIM as you move forward”. So, she got up
and started filling out some job applications. And things started working
out for her.

Tucked in the middle of this passage in Ephesians - connecting the
thoughts of us not being saved by good works and of doing good works
that He has prepared for us - tucked in there , is this amazing message  
“For we are his workmanship”. The amplified Bible translates it this
way: “We are His work of art”. Class, Remember that you are HIS
WORK of art. That is incredible! You are an amazing, creation of God.
Some of you are gifted artists, others are musicians, others are history
buffs.  Some of you are gifted photographers. Others of you are
science and math geniuses. But when I look at each of you, I see God’s
Handiwork. His Signature. His unique work of art. Remember that on
the days that you are tempted to feel worthless or when you are tempted
to compare yourself to others. You are his treasured work of art.

You each have unique gifts.  Use those to do the good works that he
prepared for you. Don’t turn seeking Him and doing his work into a
burden, when it is meant to be a blessing.  

Class, the world needs to see Christians who aren’t afraid to do good.
Christians who aren’t too self-absorbed to do good.  Who aren’t afraid
to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty in this messy world
and do good. The world needs to see Christians who are so secure
in their walks with HIM that they are free to do good without arrogance
or selfishness mixed in.  Use your gifts and talents to glorify God by
doing His good work in this world.

Some graduation speeches add pressure: Solve the hunger problem!
Go find a cure for cancer.  (And one of you might do that!) But, usually,
our callings are more simple. Offer a cup of water in the name of Jesus.  
Be His Hands and Feet at your summer job. Be a God-honoring nurse.
Use your business skills to employ people and give them good benefits.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul mind and strength and
Love your neighbor as yourself.  The rest will be made clear to you as
you live your life trusting Him.

So in conclusion, remember these 3 things and they all start with the
letter "P":

1. Your life has been Purchased.  Your good works don’t save you.  The blood of Jesus saves you.
2. Your life has a Prepared Purpose. He has good works that he has prepared for you to do
3. Your life is Precious. You are GOD’s handiwork, a unique work of art.

You are an incredibly gifted class.  Go out there and be who you were
created to be. Just like the hand looks different from the ear and the
foot is different from the heart. Each of your lives will look different.  But
just like each body part is important and necessary, each of you is
important and necessary . So don’t stress about your life and your future.
God’s got this. Trust Him. He has a plan and a purpose for your precious
lives and I can’t wait to see it.

Christmas Eve Testimony

The Bible says that another name for Jesus is “Immanuel”. Immanuel means “God with us”. Well, I want to share a testimony about times that God has been with me through struggle.

The first time was when I was a senior in college. One Friday night, I found myself all alone with nothing to do. All of my housemates were out with the guys they were dating. So, I called various people, but they all had plans. Feeling the slow creep of loneliness and self-pity, I decided to call a freshman girl “Hey, what are you up to tonight?”, I asked. “I’m going out with your brother!” was her response. “What??” (I thought) That was the final straw! I became angry, feeling left out and lonely. Over the next week or so , I paid attention to the fact that everyone was dating someone - except for me..... I became sad, jealous and depressed. Ultimately, I became mad at God. I felt like I had served Him the best I could and He really didn’t care if I ended up lonely and friendless. I literally felt my heart growing hard, as if I was walking around with a block of ice inside my chest.

During this time, I worked at a TV station on campus. Rumor had it that my boss was a Christian, but he had never mentioned anything to me about his faith. He was a just a regular old grumpy boss. Well, about a week into my time of loneliness and bitterness, my boss came out to my desk and sat and just looked at me. “Oh Great”, I thought, “Why is this man here?” After a moment or two, he said, “Do you believe that God talks to people?” I couldn’t believe it! My boss had never talked about  much of anything, much less his faith and, now, when I was mad at God, he suddenly wants to talk! So, I looked at him and said something sarcastic like, “God can do anything, so I guess if he wanted to talk to someone, He could.” “Well” he replied, “The other day I was driving to Charlottesville and I was praying as I drove. At one point, I prayed for you and as I was praying, the Lord showed me how much he loves you. His love for you was so personal and deep that I started crying. I was crying so hard that I had to pull the car over and just weep over how beautiful his love for you is.” As he said this, his eyes were welling up. “I don’t know what you are going through right now, but God wants you to know that he really really loves you. He cherishes you and he has a plan for your life.” As he spoke, I felt my rock hard heart slowly soften and melt. I couldn’t believe it! I had been angry at God, and he turned around and sent me a message of love and hope!

When I got off work, I ran all the way to my apartment. When I got there, I was relieved to see that none of my housemates were home and I just started rejoicing. All I could say was “He loves me” “You love me” “You really love me” “Thank you! Thank you!” This personal message from God ignited my faith. God loves me. God is with me. Immanuel.

So, I did end up getting married. My husband, Marshall, and I served the Lord through youth ministry and worship team and an inner city church plant in Orlando. I also had a miscarriage in Orlando. This left me with a fear that I would never be able to have children. But the fear did not consume me or steal my joy. I still remembered that Jesus is Emmanuel, God with me, and that he cherishes me especially in hard times.

Just before Christmas, in 1996, we moved to Miami to help start a church there. In 1998, I had my first son, Isaiah. The name Isaiah is related to the name Jesus. They both mean “God saves”. But after my son Isaiah was born, I didn't feel “saved”. I found myself crippled by postpartum depression. I felt overwhelmed by my lack of parenting skills. I started having thoughts like, “You are a horrible mother” and “Why don’t you just run away?”. We were also having some significant conflicts at the church and life was just generally not going well. I felt like I was slipping into a pit and that no one could get me out......Not even God. I felt forgotten.

 One day, I had the thought “Go over to the knife drawer and just end it all. Your husband will remarry and find a better wife and your son will have a better mother”. I was shocked by the thoughts. I didn’t understand how I could have handled my miscarriage with faith but I couldn’t handle a crying baby and relational conflict with friends. I had never understood how someone could call themselves a Christian and be depressed. I had never understood how anyone could rationalize taking their own lives. And, yet, here I was entertaining thoughts of suicide and somehow, it felt like the noble and right thing to do.

I knew that these thoughts were a lie, but I could not shake them. I felt like I was just stuck in a pit and there was no way out. I knew my thoughts were wrong, and it took all of my strength to resist giving into them. This time there was no boss with a word from God to instantly melt my heart. I had to fight for my faith. I had to fight to believe.

Day after day, I made myself get up and take care of my child and immerse myself in song lyrics like “It is well with my soul”. And day after day, I struggled to really believe.

We ended up deciding to leave Miami and move to Maryland and start life afresh. Slowly, through meditating on the truths that are found in the Bible, I came out of my depression.

Since that time, I have learned more about spiritual warfare. The new Testament of the Bible mostly talks about Jesus and how to live knowing Him. But sometimes the Bible talks about the Enemy of our souls. The Bible says that the Devil is a liar. I have come to learn that when I was having thoughts like “Nobody likes you” or “You are a horrible mother. Just run away.” Those thoughts are evil lies, from the pit of hell. And now if these thoughts were to ever try to return, I resist them and recognize that they are lies. I can say to wrong thinking “Stop, in the name of Jesus!”

Not only is this Enemy a liar, but he is also a thief. This thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. He wants to destroy any peace or joy we have. But Jesus has come that we may have life, and have it abundantly. I have come to realize that this abundant life isn’t in having a husband or being a perfect mother or being rich or going on fancy vacations. The abundant life in Jesus is the peace and hope that He gives us. This peace and hope is there regardless of any circumstance.

So, this Christmas, let’s rejoice that baby Jesus was born! Let’s rejoice that He left the comforts and beauty of Heaven to be born into a filthy stable, surrounded not only by dirty animals - but also by people who would doubt and mock Him. This baby grew up to die a horrific death on our behalf. This baby’s name is Jesus - God saves - and Emmanuel - God is with us. Through faith in Him, I have learned the secret of being content in every circumstance, whether well-fed or hungry, whether rich or poor, whether surrounded by friends or sitting all alone.

To anyone who is fearful, in Him is a fearless life. 

To anyone who is lonely, in Him is true Friendship. 

To anyone who feels forgotten, He remembers you. 

To anyone who is depressed, He is the reason to be JOYFUL. 

To anyone who feels hopeless, He is the reason to be hopeful. 

To anyone who has been a victim, in Him there is Victory. 

To anyone who thinks Jesus isn't real, HE is alive! 

I encourage you to not believe the lies swirling around in your head or the lies that are swirling around in our culture. I can confidently tell you that Jesus loves you and rejoices over you. 

He was born to save you. And His love is enough, no matter what.

Questions Quenched

I was one of those "why" kids?  Why is there poverty?  Why do mean people seem to get ahead?  Why is there racism? Why?  Why?  WHY??????  In fact, one of my favorite songs was even entitled "Why?".  It was by folk singer Tracy Chapman.  Here are the lyrics:

Why do the babies starve

When there's enough food to feed the world

Why when there're so many of us

Are there people still alone

Why are the missiles called peace keepers

When they're aimed to kill

Why is a woman still not safe

When she's in her home

Love is hate

War is peace

No is yes

And we're all free

But somebody's gonna have to answer

The time is coming soon

Amidst all these questions and contradictions

There're some who seek the truth

As a teenager, I was one of those Truth Seekers.  And something amazing happened to me.  I came to have a relationship with the Truth.  The Truth told me that the world is a dark place.  And that mankind has rebelled against the Truth.  This is WHY there is so much injustice in the world.  The Truth also told me that He is The Way and The Life. And that this world is not as it was intended because of humanity's rejection of His Way.

So, now I don't ask "why" quite as much.  Ironically, I have been trying to figure out WHY I don't ask why.  I still have a passion for truth and justice.  I still care about reasons behind things.  But, I have this unshakable faith in a God who is bigger than the WHY.  Bigger than tragedy.  A God who is PRESENT Always.  A God who is PERSONAL.

Yesterday, I stumbled across a C.S. Lewis quote on Facebook that perfectly sums up WHY I don't ask WHY anymore.  It is from one of my favorite books, Til We Have Faces.  Here it is:

I know now, Lord, 

why you utter no answer. 

You are yourself the answer. 

Before your face questions die away. 

What other answer would suffice? 

These words perfectly summarize my feelings.  His PERSONAL PRESENCE.  Jesus.  He really is the answer. Knowing Him suffices.  If you don't know Him,  this answer sounds trite.  But if you know Him, you are sometimes just left dumb-founded and awe-inspired and comforted and amazed, and ultimately, question-less in His presence.

Yeah - before His face, I have no questions.  I have peace and joy and love indescribable.  Questions are quenched, because He, himself, is the answer.

Helping the Poor

With the exception of people who are hungry, what if what we call "poor" is just really living simply? When I went to Costa Rica a few years ago, I got to go to an island that few Americans go to. We were told that the people there would be poor. Having little material possessions. When I got there, I saw farmers and fishermen. No one was hungry, but few had electricity. But they didn't mind - this is how they had lived for a long time. I also saw people who laughed easily, extended hospitality and who were not materialistic. We had been instructed to bring toys and clothing to give away. But no one there was naked and the kids played with sticks, rocks, built forts in the woods and enjoyed games like tag. I actually felt like we were insulting them by assuming they needed the things we brought to be truly happy.

Someone recently told me, that with the exception of hunger, clean water and shelter, we should judge what we call "poverty" by the standard of "how does this person live compared to his immediate community?" instead of "how does he live compared to me back in America?". I am still processing how I feel about this, but after my Costa Rica trip, I wonder if this might be a better way to look at aid.

My mother grew up "poor" in what was once an "off the heated path" part of Hawaii, but she always says that she never knew she was poor because everyone in her part of Hawaii lived the same way. She has memories of fishing and climbing coconut trees and not wearing shoes to school or anywhere until she was about 12 and feeling like she had a great life, even though money was always tight. She lived the way everyone around her lived, so her poverty was her "normal". It wasn't until she went to the University of Hawaii in Honolulu and heard how people talked about her section of Hawaii and saw how others grew up that she found out that she had been considered "poor".

So, if someone has shelter, clean water, basic clothes and food, and lives in a rural environment where everyone lives simply, are they poor?

Is it Sinful to be afraid?

There are some Christians who treat all fear as sin.  The line of reasoning is that since the Bible says multiple times "Do not fear" then people are sinning anytime they feel fear.  This never made sense to me.  What if a car is about to hit me?  I shouldn't feel any fear? 

I had always read these passages more as God saying, "You do not need to be afraid, my child. Trust me.  I am here.  I can give you peace in the midst of a storm."  The passages, to me, were encouraging exhortations rather than blunt rebukes. A call to faith and trust in Him.  A reminder that we don't need to be afraid and anxious all the time.  We can trust God!

Following is a video by Ed Welch from CCEF in which he speaks about these passages.  I hope it encourages you.

http://vimeo.com/67671530

The Singing Servant God

"One of the most amazing truths that I ever discovered...was that God’s greatness is displayed not in His gathering slaves around him to work for him, to show that he has enough authority to get workers, but rather his greatness is shown in making Him — Himself — available to work for others."  John Piper

The very essence of the gospel is that God, in the person of Jesus Christ, has done ALL of the work for us.  He has lived for us, waited on us, died for us and conquered death for us!  What a different idea from how I thought God to be when I was a child.  I used to imagine him as just putting up with me.  Even now, I sometimes struggle with verses like Zephaniah 3:17 which says to those who trust Him:

The Lord your God is with you,

    the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,

    but will rejoice over you with singing.

Wait a minute, God has not only done work for us, but, according to the above verse, also enjoys us?  And, if God works for us, why does the Bible talk about us working for and serving God?  Well, I believe that our "service" to Him is meant to be a delight not a drudgery.  It is not like we are trying to appease Him.  In fact, because of Jesus, God has been appeased!  

Imagine if someone did something amazing for you - like pay off a $100,000 debt.  In response to this lavish gift, you cook a meal for them, and write a thank you note and tell people how wonderful this person is.  It wouldn't feel like WORK to do these things, but, rather it would be your pleasure and joy to do these things for that person.  That is how it is with God.  Serving Him is meant to be a natural outflow and response to what He has done for us.  A delight, rather than a duty.

And the wild thing is that what God has done for us is so much more than paying off $100,000!  He has provided us with eternal joy, peace and salvation through His own pain and suffering!  And He has done it with delightful, sacrificial love!  And if I look back at that verse in Zephaniah, He actually rejoices over those who have received this gift of salvation.  He sings over us!  Not because we are so wonderful and deserve all of this, but because HE IS SO WONDERFUL and has a lavish love for us.

I am undone by this thought.  I am in awe.  The God of this Universe, whom I have sinned against in so many ways, is not just putting up with me.  Rather, in His love, He will no longer rebuke me, but DELIGHTS in me, rejoicing over me with singing.  Amazing.  Humbling.

Meditating on these thoughts brings forth grateful tears of joy.  How I love this Singing Servant God!

I have no more words.  

The Subway Samaritan

Last Saturday morning, I woke up and had some time with the Lord, praying and reading the Word.  Then,  I headed out to go to where I minister to South Asians.  I live in Manhattan and need to take a subway to Queens in order to do this.  As usual, I was running late.  

At the subway station, the subway was running late.  "Great, just what I needed!", I thought sarcastically.  While waiting for the train, I overheard a lady on her cell phone.  She was making a call to someone with whom she had an appointment to explain that she would be late.  I remember thinking that, even though she disliked being late, she sounded patient.  Patient Lady seemed like a nice person.

Well, the subway finally came and it was kind of full, but Patient Lady and I both got on.  She went one way on the train and I another.   There were only 2 available seats and they were next to each other.  Right next to one of these seats was a drunk man.  His empty whisky bottle was sticking out of his coat pocket, his hat and glasses were on the subway floor near his feet and he was completely passed out.

Thankful that I did not have to sit directly next to Passed Out Drunk Man, I sat one seat over.  After sitting I realized that he was swaying with the motion of the train.  People sitting across from the man were watching him sway towards me.  All I could think were things like: "I hope he doesn't fall onto me!" or "What if he vomits, or has lice or something?  I can't go do ministry if I am dirty."

Then it happened!  He fell onto me!  Even though we had one seat between us, his head fell right onto my shoulder!  I winced and gently pushed him back up.  He briefly woke up, looked around and passed out again.  Now, I was living in fear of him falling again.  Everyone was looking at me.  I imagined that some looked at me with pity and others with mild curiosity.  No one spoke.  They all just watched my little drama and I knew they all could tell what I was thinking because I had zero poker face.

At the next stop, one of the girls sitting across from me left the subway car, I immediately got up and grabbed her seat.  Then, something amazing happened.    Patient Lady came down to our side of the train and sat RIGHT NEXT to Passed Out Drunk Man!  She picked up his hat and glasses and gently spoke to him, "I believe these are yours.".  As he sleepily awoke, she handed him his things.  He took them from her and passed out again.  She then laid a hand on his shoulder - yes she voluntarily touched him - and she appeared to be praying!

During the remainder of my subway ride, he fell on her several times - as he had done with me, but  she would gently sit him upright and continue sitting there and pat his arm with her hand.  Patient Lady looked like she was in absolute peace.  Our eyes met briefly, and she looked at me with total peace and zero judgment.  This made me feel really bad - I felt like I deserved a judgmental stare for being so self-consumed, not a patient, peaceful look.

And THAT is when Jesus' story of the Good Samaritan came to mind.  You know the parable  where the beat up man is in the gutter and all of the religious people - the priest and rabbi - walk to the OTHER SIDE OF THE SUBWAY- I mean, the other side of the road?  And I suddenly realized that I was Religious Lady running off to "do ministry" who was too busy to be contaminated by a drunk man.  But Patient Lady - who I now call the "Subway Samaritan" - was also late for a meeting, but she took time to show love and care to Passed Out Drunk Man.  

I realized that I had just lived a parable but I was playing the role of the ugliest character!  I didn't want the Passed Out Drunk Man to touch me; Subway Samaritan willingly touched him.  I didn't want to sit  near him; Subway Samaritan willingly sat RIGHT NEXT to him.  I was too selfish to think about him; Subway Samaritan let go of herself to show kindness to him.  And Subway Samaritan did not look at me with judgment.  She treated me with the same patience she showed to Passed Out Drunk Man.

So, my prayer is that I would be someone who lives ministry instead of someone who does ministry.  I want to be someone who sees opportunities that God gives me to love and care for people.  I pray that I would especially take notice of these opportunities when they do not fit into my schedule or when they are unpleasant or risky.  

And I thank the Lord for showing me that I am often not like the Good Samaritan, but more like the busy religious people in that parable. And I also thank Him for looking at me gently, just like the Subway Samaritan did.  I thank Him for being just as patient with me as she was with both me and Passed Out Drunk Man.

I pray that the Lord would keep Transforming Tammy into the image of His Son!  Amen.