Humble Pie

When I decided to start a blog - I thought it would be a good way to accomplish two things: 

• to journal my thoughts and 
• to keep my friends up-to-date on my life

What I didn't expect was the sheer humiliation of laying your thoughts out there for the world to see.  As I lie in bed this morning, I remembered yesterday's post about Shifting Priorities - and I was embarrassed.  I imagined someone reading it and thinking things like, "Get over yourself - you had secret hopes of celebrating your anniversary when you were dealing with people who had lost everything?????".  I then imagined most of the world's population and thought about the countless women who just strive day to day trying to make ends meet and who wish they had the luxury, time and money to even contemplate a nice evening out.  AND then I thought about the hungry children, and the enslaved and - well, you get the picture. 

The bottom line of my thoughts was this:  How could I have written about such a shallow thing?  I hope no one read it.  And how can I be laying in bed thinking about how I looked in yesterday's blog when there are way more important things I could be concerned about?  What an idiot!  I should have never started a blog.

Then, somewhere in my shame, I remembered that I am not all of those people that I would be embarrassed to have read yesterday's post .  I am me.  And God, through His son Jesus Christ, is working in me.  He is gently (and slowly) cutting out the selfishness and replacing it with selflessness.  He is transforming me and He knows what He is dealing with and none of it shocks Him.  And maybe He will use this blog to do that.  How humbling.

So, part of the transformation is eating humble pie.  So, if anyone ever reads this, have hope that God can change you too.  And sometimes part of that change is confessing how shallow your thoughts can be.  Sometimes growing is learning that humble pie is nutrition for the soul - even if it doesn't look good to eat.